Friday, March 4, 2011

Friday Recap

I've promised my 2 of my college sorority sisters/BFFs/fav people ever that they could write a weekly current events recap. They need no introduction, they've pretty much covered that themselves. I hope you all love them. I think they're hilarious, but we've always thought we were funny. We are not sure if other people think we are funny. Since I'll be posting almost daily and they'll be posting weekly, I guess we're about to find out. So here is K. Mo and M. Stine's first Friday Current Events Recap!

"Hello blog world! Melissa and I have somehow managed to convince Erin that she should allow us to do a weekly current event guest post. We have always tossed around the idea of creating a current event blog, but we always came to the conclusion that we are just too lazy to actually do it. So clearly invading E.Mills’ blog is the perfect compromise.
Hopefully every Friday you will have a post from us documenting the top five news stories of the week. Since our interests vary from world news to celeb news, all we can promise is that the top five will be nothing if not totally random.
We hope you enjoy the inaugural top five news stories for this week!
1.       Moammar Gadhafi


K. Mo: Seriously, where do we even begin with this man? Delusional? Insane? Check and check. The Libyan president, king, resident nutcase’s claims get more outrageous by the day. Yeah, pretty sure telling the world that anti-Gadhafi protests aren’t taking place doesn’t actually stop them. This rebellion is being caused by Al Qaeda slipping drugs into young people’s coffee? Why didn’t we think of that?! Hopefully he is ousted by rebel forces before he can do more damage to Libya. And hopefully he stops wearing those effing aviators ASAP.

M. Stine: That Ronald Regan sure hit the nail on the head when he labeled Gadhafi as the “mad dog of the Middle East.” A financier of terrorist organizations around the world, friend of Slobodan Milošević, and all-around lunatic, Gadhafi has been bringing evil for far too long. State-sponsored terrorism + political assassinations = all in a day’s work in Tripoli! And no, all your people do not actually love you. So how about you leave Libya & go live in your tent somewhere else.

2.       Westboro Baptist Church
K.Mo: This is a tough one. Quite clearly the Westboro Church is a group of crazy people that cannot be rationalized with, but it is their right to be able to spew whatever nonsense they want. While we do not support what they say, we do support the right to free speech. It’s what makes America great! With that being said, I’m pretty sure the Phelps clan has a hot seat next to Jim Jones waiting for them.
M.Stine: Ah, Fred Phelps…Topeka, Kansas is most certainly very proud to call you one of their own! And really, why wouldn’t they be? Your resume includes being a civil rights activist in the 60s, and your current occupation of spreading hurtful rhetoric upon grieving families. Apparently you were absent that day in kindergarten, when the teacher emphasized respecting one another & the importance of being a decent human being. Lucky for you, you live in the US where we have a thing called the First Amendment, which (among many other things) separates our country from places like Iran. So even though your words are vile, you should still be allowed to say them.
3.       Somali Pirates
K. Mo: Just a thought, but maybe sailing into pirate infested waters is actually not the best idea for a family vacation. I don’t even understand how you would come to the conclusion that this would be a good idea. The parents just thought that Disneyworld would be a little too tame for them? Really wanted to spice things up this time around? People, how about we not recreationally sail through pirate infested waters?
M.Stine: Somalia seems like it could be a lovely place, and maybe someday we will all venture to Mogadishu for vacations. But until that day comes, let’s stay away from a country that has no functioning government & has been engrossed in a civil war since 1991 (Black Hawk Down anyone?) Sailing is such a fun activity, with the sun on your skin & the wind in your hair….so tropical! What’s not tropical is when small boats of impoverished Somali teenagers armed with AK-47s storm your sailboat & take you hostage. Hardly a “Kodak moment.”
4.       Charlie Sheen
K.Mo: Oh man, where to even begin?? I have been spewing out Charlie Sheen quotes all week. Most celebs that have a mental breakdown have the decency to keep quiet. Oh, I forgot, Charlie Sheen isn’t normal. He has tiger blood and Adonis DNA…he’s special! Thank goodness his children got taken away. Maybe a reality show is already in the works. It should probably be called “Charlie’s Goddesses.”
M.Stine: “Denise Richards: It’s Complicated”, showed if nothing else that she is slightly nuts, but she really came out a winner this week. How many deranged statements can one person make, Charlie Sheen? Hopefully his children are far away staying with Uncle Emilio, and watching The Mighty Ducks. Note to Charlie: I hear Bethesda, Maryland (home of the National Institute of Mental Health) is a beautiful city…a road trip there might be in order.
K.Mo: “Ducks fly together!” Give me more Emilio during this public mental breakdown. If Gordon Bombay can take a ragged group of hockey playing kids and turn them into Junior Olympic champions than he most certainly can bring Charlie back to reality!
  1. Sirhan Sirhan
K. Mo: I must admit I was a little late on reading this story, but now I’m updated and ready to go. Sirhan assassinated RFK (who would have clearly been the most attractive US president) in 1968 and also shot five other people in the process. He was originally slated to get the death penalty, but the Kennedys wouldn’t allow it saying that too much killing had already been done. Sirhan told the parole board that he does not remember the shooting and has amnesia of the event. Well, that’s pretty convenient. I wonder how much this parole hearing cost the tax payers of California?

See you next week!

K. “I’m bi-winning” Mo"

0 comments:

Post a Comment